take one woman with low self esteem, but quite good hair
add one moronic illness
stir in some medication which causes hair to fall out
mix it all up and this is what you get...

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Things to worry about #84830 

Horses. They stand there in a field, looking glum. I think it's the natural position of their head which makes them look sad. Reminds me of that joke about the horse who goes into the bar and the barman says: "Why the long face?". It's arguably funnier, though, when you substitute "CĂ©line Dion" for the horse...

The time I worry most about horses is when I'm following (or more usually, overtaking) a horse box on the road, especially a horse box with little windows at the front. What on earth must be going through the horse's mind as it hurtles along, powered not by its own legs, but by an unknown force? As it watches images of the countryside going by at high speed whilst it just stands there, motionless, humble and dignified.

Yes, I worry about horses.

I worry about bees. Particularly the big bumble bees which come in through my window but can *never* find their way out again. They spend many minutes mere inches away from freedom, hurling themselves again and again at the window pane, buzzing frantically, never learning, never seeming to feel where the breeze is coming from and adjust their position. I want to explain to them that if they'd just aim a little higher, they'd be out. Unfortunately, there's no reasoning with a bumble bee.

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