take one woman with low self esteem, but quite good hair
add one moronic illness
stir in some medication which causes hair to fall out
mix it all up and this is what you get...

Friday, September 02, 2005

Disturbed sleep 

The phone rings at 4am

First problem: It's 4am
Second problem: The phone is ringing
Third problem: I'm upstairs, the phone is downstairs.
Fourth problem: I've just woken up. I don't know who I am or what I'm doing.

The phone continues to ring as my brain cogs start to engage and turn. I sit up, slowly.

Big wakes up. "Uh? Is that the phone?"

"Mmmm. I know who it'll be..."
Big rolls his eyes, reaches out a consolatory hand to my shoulder and then settles back to sleep.

The phone stops ringing - the answerphone will get it. I wonder if they'll try my mobile. I toy with the idea of ignoring it.

After a long moment of immobile, blank staring - the kind of staring which often accompanies an early, lone breakfast, I slowly and begrudgingly heave my warm, sleepy body from the comfort of the bed (a difficult enough task at any hour of the day), put on my dressing gown and make my way to the bathroom.

The phone starts ringing again. "Okay, okay, I'm coming" I mutter under my breath, not wanting to disturb Big any more than necessary.

I check the message on the answerphone and sigh to myself, not entirely thrilled to know that I was right about who it was.

I call them back.
"Hi, it's anxious"
"Ahhh yes, thanks for calling back, we've got a problem with that software you changed yesterday"
"I didn't change any software yesterday"
"Oh, I thought you did"
"No, I carried out some testing, but this bypassed the software completely. The software is exactly the same as it has been for 2 months"
"Well, it seems like a bit of a coincidence. It's affecting production, can you have a look please?"
"Okay, I'll dial in"

One hour was spent sitting in the hallway with a cup of tea, meticulously checking hexadecimal data via the laptop, a task not ideally suited to this ungodly hour.

I call them again
"The data is correct, it's not the software. It must be the network connection or the hardware"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. The software hasn't changed. The data it sends is the same"

At 5am, I return to my bed. My 6am run is now out of the question which could be argued to be a good thing.

The next few days are spent playing a game of "blame tennis".

"Ahhh, but because of [bogus reason x], we reckon it must be the software"
"Ahhh, but because of [genuine reason y], it *can't* be the software. You need to reconfigure the printers"

Repeat ad nauseam

It was no surprise, or comfort, for to me to learn, several days later, that the problem was fixed by correcting the hardware configuration.

I love my job.

Pick o' the pod, take two
  1. Stan - Eminem
  2. Ludwig van Beethoven - Sonata in F minor, Opus 57 'Appassionata' - Allegro ma non troppo

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