This morning, whilst snoozing peacefully, I was aware of Big "exclaiming" to himself downstairs. He may even have used some swear words. This is not his usual morning behaviour, preferring to shuffle silently between bathroom, lounge and kitchen.

"Love, I think you need to come down here and see this..."

I did. And here is what I saw:





Call me old fashioned, but I thought ceilings belonged, well, on the ceiling. Certainly not scattered over an almost-new cream sofa and a floor. This was especially galling because, the day before, the ceiling and walls had been freshly painted and were finally starting to look nice. And yes, I imagine these two events were related.

Over the past few months, I've got the distinct impression that someone or something out there doesn't want us to live in this house.

And to be honest, I'm not sure I want to live in it any more....