• sleep all night without having to get up at least once for a pee
  
• have the rest of my hair back, please
  
• have my normal shaped face rather than a "moon" face (thanks for that, steroids)
  
• go for a few weeks without having some minor ailment or other
  
• go for a day without having to pour a cocktail of medication down my neck
  
• go for a nice, long run
  
• go for a walk without huffing and puffing and sweating in a manner which is disproportionate to the amount of effort expended
  
• feel satisfied after a meal
  
• not have this perpetual weird taste in my mouth
  
• have hands which don't shake uncontrollably at random intervals
  
• not wake up several times in the night, bathed in sweat

If I could just feel normal again.

When I say normal, I mean of course "how I was before I got sick". Unfortunately, the above *is* my normal now. For at least 18 months while I'm on this hideous medication. Which is all so utterly tedious, for me and those who have to put up with me.

Of course, God knows, things could have been worse. There are people out there who have to put up with a hell of a lot more. But I can't be grown up and philosophical all of the time. Occasionally I go through periods of childish questioning where I think: "Why did this have to happen to me? What have I done to deserve this? What's the point of trying to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle only to get clobbered by a completely random and indiscriminate illness?"

Unfortunately and frustratingly, there are no answers to these questions. Life just sucks sometimes, I guess.

Ah well, at least I have my health... Oh, pants...