take one woman with low self esteem, but quite good hair
add one moronic illness
stir in some medication which causes hair to fall out
mix it all up and this is what you get...
Monday, September 03, 2007
... I bring you an unordered list of utter guff including the excessive use of exclamation marks.<< Home
- I am very rich! That got your attention, didn't it? Are you my bestest friend now after years of indifference? I can see you, sidling over... Yes, having finally sold the old house but not yet having finished buying the new one, my bank account is straining under the weight of all that equity. It won't last, of that I can assure you.
- We have found a new house (alluded to above)! It is Edwardian and is semi-detached which probably means I'm middle-class or middle-aged or middle-something.
- I seriously considered purchasing a Mock Tudor house! I saw sense in the end, mind.
- Everyone is trying to destroy my car! When I say "everyone", of course I mean "a few individuals". Not only did "they" break the glass bit of the driver's side mirror, but "they" also knocked the passenger side wing mirror completely off its hinge and "they" left a nasty dent in the driver's side wing. "They" being a selection of individuals in different towns at different times. This is the car that I tried to sell earlier in the year, but no-one would buy apart from email correspondents whose names and usage of the English language were suspect to say the least.
- According to the lady at the gym, I am borderline obese! I also have an elite level of fitness! All at the same time! Yes, I was confused too...
- My hair is now about 1cm long all over! I look like a pinhead with an enormous arse! But - and this is quite a good "but" - it's all there; my hair is definitely growing back. Due to the reluctance of a previous hairdresser to hack it all off at my request, I did spend several weeks with a kind of dual hairstyle: very short hair (the new stuff), alongside a comedic chin-length bob of such wispiness that I looked like a Guy (out of "penny for the Guy") where someone got bored of sticking strands of hair on. Now, with the help of a hairdresser with no hacking-related qualms, I just look like a feminist.
- This morning, at about 6:30am, I swam 455 metres! A couple of lengths of which were swum without a break in between! Some of which were swum entirely using the breaststroke without my getting bored halfway and switching to crawl! This, though it may not seem like it, is progress.
- I have done more socially in the past month than I had over many, many months in my previous residence! To which, the only possible response is: "Yay!"