take one woman with low self esteem, but quite good hair
add one moronic illness
stir in some medication which causes hair to fall out
mix it all up and this is what you get...

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Friends like these... 

I doubt you noticed. It seems to me that, these days, you rarely notice anything outside a five metre radius of your own navel. Our friendship, if we can really call it that, started with a kind of kinship, a shared reaction to a similar experience, a mutual, gentle admiration. You, living the life that, at one time, I thought I might live. There was some envy from me, there always is, though not for everything. Not for the failing relationship, the child, the crushing routine. Just aspects of that life - the life I thought I'd live.

In those early days, I was one of the chosen ones and I was pathetically grateful. Too pathetically grateful. I am ashamed to say that I sometimes joined in with the gushing admiration which, when I witness it now, fills me with bitterness and exasperation.

Things started to turn around for you, in a big way. You moved on, were part of something wholly different now - I fell by the wayside, like many others. You paid lip service to our friendship on rare occasions, but there was more and more smugness and aloofness about your changed fortunes and you became part of a clique: a clique which was not open to me. Too ordinary, too mediocre to be on that list.

Mediocre and ordinary, I may be, but my friendship must still be earned and I'm sorry to say, you haven't worked hard enough. And so, for the first time, I used the "Remove from friends" button in Facebook. On you.

I doubt you noticed.

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